Pain Of Evolution

There will be a million shining leaves in this old tree that stands alone by the hill. A thousand mushrooms will spurt out at its bottom. But, in the days when the skies start to pour, the tree will be alone. All the little ones who play under the tired trunks of the old tree will run into the shade and safety of their homes.

The tree never wished for a rain. Even when it dropped all it’s leaves one by one, it was more afraid of the solitude that would be brought forth by the rain.

The children, who were sitting under the tree, used to dream about the green meadows and blue sky. The tree wondered, ‘how similar are our dreams!’

The children, believed all the fairytales that they heard. The flying carpets, talking trees and the fairies in the dark. They honestly believed that it all is true.

Their eyes shined with a happiness, which never seemed to fade.

One fine day, all the children were grown up. They stopped coming together to the shade. One or two would come, very rarely.

Their dreams now carry only selfishness. Their eyes are veiled by anxiety and greed.

And the clouds started to pour down in the right time.

The tree bent his head and cried out loudly.

“Burn me down in the next summer.”

The grown ups wondered,

“Unbelievable, look, a tree that speaks!”

Rhythm Of Death

When you sent them to this busy world,
Have you taken their permission?

And they, remained strangers for years,
Lived without complaints and concerns.

It was you, who sent the wind of love, into the space between them.

You never unveiled your secrets, to them.
Keeping them in ignorance.

They believed in the beauty of coincidence.
And you, nourished your love to destiny,
By invading their dreams.

And you, continued the dance of destiny, forevermore.

Their love exceeded the senses.
Beyond his rough palms which explored her body,
Something that touched her soul.

Beyond the taste and fragrance of her lips,
Something that intoxicated him.

Exchange of pleasure, did not mean
Simply coming together of two naked bodies for them.

Beyond the heat of orgasm,
It was something that touched their souls.

They prepared the thread and dip,
Oh weaver, why didn’t you weave a cloth for them?

In their hearts, they planted a million seeds of love,
Oh Gardner, why didn’t you come up with even a single flower?

Destiny. The final solace.

The ownership of father over his son!

Oh Painter, do you relish more in destruction,
Rather than the creation?

Oh dancer, Is your dance in a rhythm of death?
Which no one has seen, and no one understands?

Oh the one who sits in the sky
And judges on our falls and find bliss in our pain,who will judge you?

The Walk

The people who had come there, left their tears for him, and walked back to their rusted lives. When he was assured of his solitude, he slowly got up from the ashes.

He found that his soul had not burned down to ashes with his body in the pyre. What he believed was true!

The dead man wanted to continue his journey and started to walk slowly. There is no need to rush anymore.

The wind was calmer, but colder, than usual.

Where are the demons that used to stare at him when it was dark? Where are the beasts and the birds of prey? Where have they all gone?

All of his fears have also burned down in the pyre.

He looked at the brightest star in the sky, and said unto it,

“I no longer fret the darkness. Pacify the lamp that burns with your blood, and sleep peacefully.”

The star obeyed his soft words.

Seeing that this man has got the ability to work wonders, the tree, which stood in bright light till the moment, and now fallen into freezing darkness, asked him.

“Will you take me with you on your journey? For I see that the light that burns in the sky, obeys you.”

“I don’t have any idea about the roads that I am going to walk”, he replied.

The tree decided to remain there. To remain rooted in the soil, poisoned by the death of his ancestors, and to draw life from the dead.

He walked past the tree, and touched his feet on the stream that was wetting the mountain since the days when men were nothing but a distant future.

The stream paused for a moment, and murmured to him,

“I want to see new lands, I want to flow to the ocean through a different terrain. Show me the world.”

“I don’t have any idea about the roads that I am going to walk. If you come with me, your journey might end up in the sucking grasp of a desert, as it may in the oceans embracing arms.” was his reply.

The stream was scared of the desert. He too left him and continued to wet the mountain down till the valley.

He walked farther, and in the middle, found that a stranger has joined him without asking permission. He knew that he casts no shadow. Everything that was visible to light had burned on the fire. It must be someone else.

He stopped, turned back in a blaze, and asked. “Who are you?”

“I had always been with you, I am your dreams.” the stranger unveiled.

They walked the road that stretched in front of them, together.

The Illusion

Since I had never been able to gain mastery over the language, my wordings might fail to touch your heart. But don't mistake it for my lack of love. It is just my inability to use the words and sentences skillfully. My love will never be able to express itself through words, as the world does not yet know a language which can measure my love.

What I am not able to believe till now is that, the world can change so much within the blink of an eye. I had a person to love, I had a faith to hold on to and a prayer to whisper every moment along with my breathing. I am not sure where she is now. I am standing all alone, and no heavens to protect me. I am alone with my prayers which just merges with the ether and vanishes into the endless blue sky. I don't know if those will ever be answered. I am afraid, If I have lost the love of my goddess forever.

So, the first song from my lute today would be an apology. If I am speaking wrong words at the wrong moment. After that, it would be just encores. This is in no way a claim of my love towards you, and this is in no way an expression of my intoxicated state. This is a necessity. There are things that has to happen. We are just like bamboo flutes, we just have to make the air to pass through us, and the music will be born out of nowhere. Just like that, we have to just let life pass through us. For me it whistles as a sad song, it had always been.

Yes, this is a necessity. Something that the time demands. It is just a note of gratitude, to the most wonderful girl I have ever met in my life. To the girl who showed me the real beauty of love, let it even be for such a short span. Given a choice, I would have selected the same. I would have chose death at the end of a festival.

As the great Jewish carpenter said before lying on the cross for us,

'Love is patient, love is kind,
Love does not insist on its own way.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
Hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.'

I don't insist on my love to bring happiness to me. I don't believe that love can be defined in terms of happiness and sorrow. The world is yet to know a scale, with which we can measure love. It tries with all its might to measure it. But not for me, I cannot measure love with selfishness. I just want to see you happy, that is all I want.

I have only one prayer, my beloved, and it is for our oneness.

I want to be the air that surrounds you,
I want to embrace you from all sides,
To give you warmth when you are cold,
And to make you sleep with a dull song, which lingers.

I want to be the air that surrounds you.
I want to enter you when you breathe.
To merge with your blood and cells,
And to fill you with life of the purest form, eternal.

I want to be the air that surrounds you,
I want to reside in your heart and soul.
To give you dreams and to carry your aura,
And to be proud that I am one with my beloved, in all sense.

And when you exhale me,
I don't want to exist,
I just want to merge into the atmosphere,
Just to be with you, in the rebirth.

Oh lord, remember what I have done.
Let the results of my actions determine my fate,
From birth to birth.
Please remember what I have done.

Denial is painful, when something so close to the heart is denied, life becomes hell. And right now, for me, it is. I am standing in this battlefield like Karna, who lost his ornaments and armor, with no one, to ask for help. I surrender my life to my lord, let him take care of what he has created. Let his wish be done.

Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest. - Luke 10:2, The Holy Bible, King James' Version.

I know my words are just like a broken mirror, which will never be able to give the right intensity of colors. My love is inexpressible like music in the mind of a mute. I don't find the words to express it, and I don't think that I will ever find any. My beloved, accept my apologies for anything in me, that you have not liked. I am just a human, I don't know, how to be more truthful and committed.

"Time and space, the ether
Fading light and the silence
Oh, they are so weak...
I have marked my love to you
Beyond their reach in my soul..."

Your love is the breathing air for me, when that fades, I die. I would prefer to die for you, rather than living happily with someone else.

The Kite

The eagle wanted to make one last flight with his tired wings, to a land, where breaking hearts is outlawed.

Some time ago he used to be the highest living being in the world. He used to dive down, between the drifting pieces of clouds in intricate patterns. He used to paint the sky with his rebellious mind during the wildest of storms.

His wings were never tired chasing the heights.

Of late, he has become detached of all the glory. He flied, only on moderate heights, enjoying the screams of the younger ones who flied even higher. Sincerely praying for them to be safe.

Yet, never did he beg to the lord of the skies, to keep him safe.

His whole life was of acceptance. He challenged the limits, but accepted the threats in it.

He never complained.

Never did he wake up with the desire to go higher, but every day he did that, or missed it once in a while.

His achievements never delighted him, and he never got dejected when he failed to.

Success was not his wine. He made no claims that he was the best.

He delighted in his love. He delighted in his commitment. His strength was his love. That was the difference between him and the others.

He carried himself to the heights, not on his wings, but on his heart. Now he just wants to prepare for one last flight to a land, where breaking hearts is outlawed.

He cannot afford it again.

He searched the entire planet. But found no such place.

Everywhere, it was considered to be a strength to win over ones own heart. It was considered to be bravery, to kill the emotions.

Nowhere, existed acceptance. Nowhere existed devotion.

He was a misfit.

He flew high, once again and melted into the sky, like a perfectly pitched note.

That day God decided to come and live in the earth, among the creeping creatures. And he said unto them,

'Today is the day to mourn. Today the sky has lost it's son'

Lilies in the field: Part 2

Lilies in the field

This is Second part of a series based on my thoughts on one of the greatest comments made about life, by one of the greatest men in history - Sermon on the Mount by Jesus Christ. This does not in any way reflect what the great man had in his mind while saying these. I am not a scholar to comment. This is all about what it inspires in me. The italics are quoted text from Bible.

Note: All Biblical references are from http://www.usccb.org
Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:African_Corn_Lilies.JPG

Part 2: Tomorrow will take care of itself

"(But) take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

I would just quote Lord Sri Krishna,

"Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani"

"You have a right to perform your prescribed action,but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action.
Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities,and never be associated to not doing your duty."


"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words.
Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
"This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one.

This reminds me of a question that I asked myself some time back. What do I pray for? It is either to avoid something that I don't want to happen, or to request something that I want to. Has it ever been out of love towards the lord, rather than out of love towards the self? No, it has never been. I thought a lot about it, and tried to learn more.

In India, we always had two methods for interaction with the divine. Dhyana and Upasana. Upasana is devoting yourself to something, let it be a stone, a tree or a snake. You worship it, you devote to it as it is another human being with blood and marrow. You provide it with things that you would like to have for yourself. This is called Upasana.

It is not important that a stone is getting worshiped or a tree. You are offering yourself, that is important. The readiness to offer yourself is important. The emphasis is on you, not on the stone.



If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.
"When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.

External signs are for others. Be sure about what you are, and everything will be taken care of.


"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal.
But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.
"The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light;
but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.
"No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

A time will come for everyone, when all the wealth, knowledge and reputation that you have, is of little value. What you have and what you are in others eyes, will become a burden for you. Cultivate peace within yourself, and that will remain.

A prayer from Isopanishad,

Isaavaasyam idam sarvam,
yat kinca jagatyam jagat
tena tyaktena bhunjiyam
ma grdha kasya svid dhanam.

Everything in the world is controlled by God,
everything that is animate and inanimate,
consume by the way of sacrifice,
do not greed for what is others.


"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

This is the most beautiful part of The Bible.

There is an order, even in the ultimate chaos. There is hope even in destruction. Every summer is followed by raindrops.
The existence delights in creation, and knows how to preserve it.

You don't need to worry about being. It will be taken care of. Be passive, but be open.

Be detached, but be loving. Everything will be taken care of.

One Short Of A Quarter...

24 Years, ago, in the same day an accident happened. I was born. I was just ordinary. And it was once again proved that the existence is not interested in the betterment of individual, but only the species. I was ordinary.

Thankfully, I worked my way out. I don't know if I am good or bad, compared to so called 'normal' people. I don't know if I am holier than anyone else...

But I am different. It figures.

Thanks, my lord, for helping me to be myself. Thanks for taking me out of bliss occassionally, so that I can understand its value. Thanks for the eventful 24 years.

"Like a beautiful flower, full of colour, but without scent, are the fine but fruitless words of him who does not act accordingly." - Quoted from the Dhammapada.

Lilies in the field: Part 1

Lilies in the field

This is first part of a series based on my thoughts on one of the greatest comments made about life, by one of the greatest men in history - Sermon on the Mount by Jesus Christ. This does not in any way reflect what the great man had in his mind while saying these. I am not a scholar to comment. This is all about what it inspires in me. The italics are quoted text from Bible.

Note: All Biblical references are from http://www.usccb.org
Picture: Beatitudes, Russian Orthodox Icon, From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Part 1: Light of the world



When he saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him.
He began to teach them, saying:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me.

I had always been a weak person in heart, and I consider it to be a blessing. I take pride in the fact that for me, the happiness of my beloved is more important than mine.
If people think that I am too much concerned about people and their feelings, I feel privileged. I am meek, but there is no wish to inherit the land.
When I mourn in separation, I feel hope, for I will be comforted. When I am insulted by the world, because I am intoxicated with love, I feel blessed, but there is no wish to be in the kingdom of heaven.
I rejoice, in being what I am, so weak, so vulnerable,so human. I know I will be comforted.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.

I do rejoice, and have no complaints.

Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

This world poisoned Socretes, and crucified Jesus. I am lucky, just to be condemned and outcast.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

If we don't have people who failed in life, what glory is there for the champions?

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.
Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lamp stand, where it gives light to all in the house.
Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

Love me, or hate me. But you can never ignore me. My existence is so well defined.

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.
Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place.
Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

There is only one law. Be true to your existence. Be what you are.

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
"You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.'
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, 'Raqa,' will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, 'You fool,' will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you,
leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

I equate Baba Bulleh Shah's poetry to this:

Masjid dha de, mandir dha de, dha de jo kucch dainda
Par kisi da dil na dhain, Rab dilan vich rehnda

Tear down the Mosque, tear down the temple
Tear down every thing in sight
But don't (tear down) break anyone's heart
Because God lives there.

There is no crime bigger than killing someone's soul and hopes.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into Gehenna.
"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.'
But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Another quote from the Holy Bible itself:

Love is patient, love is kind,
Love does not insist on its own way.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
Hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
- I Corinthians 13:4-8

There is no question of divorce or infidelity.

"Again you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.'
But I say to you, do not swear at all; not by heaven, for it is God's throne;
nor by the earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black.
Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil one.

We can live on, for a hundred years! Every day just like the other. Not making any difference. Playing safe. But if you commit yourself for something, don't claim, but remain committed. The devotion will take care of itself.

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'
But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on (your) right cheek, turn the other one to him as well.
If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well.
Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles.
Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you,that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same?
So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I am learning to forgive and forget. I am learning to be more human, because it is as perfect as being an angel.

Krishna Nee Begane Baaro

This is one of my favorite Carnatic kritis. This is composed by the great sage Vyasaraya.

Raga: Yamunkalyani

There is an awesome incident involving this kriti.

One day Jon Higgins, the American who was a master of Carnatic music, went to visit the Udupi Krishna temple along with his Indian friends. He wore south Indian style dress but the priests found that he was a westerner and forbid him from entering the temple. Jon stood out side the temple and tried to view the idol from distance. His friends also stood with him and he started to sing this same kriti, standing outside. Once he finished his heavenly alaap, the priests came out and requested him to enter the temple.

Jon was great. And the music was greater!

krishna nee bEganE baarO - Krishna. Come soon.
bEganE baarO mukavannu tOrO - Come soon. Show your face.
kaalaalandhigE gejje niladhabaavuli - Beautiful anklets in your feet. Sapphire bracelets.
nilavarNane naaTya maaduta baarO - Blue colored one. Please come dancing.
Odiyalli odigejje beraLalli ongura - Waistbands with bells. Ring on your finger.
koraLalli haakita vajayantimaalE - Necklace around your neck.
kaasi peeTambara kaiyalli koLalu - Yellow silk from Kashi. Flute in your hand.
pushita shreegandha mayallOLagamma! - Your body is decorated with sandal paste.
taayige baayalli jagavannu torita - Who showed his mother the universe in his mouth
jagadhOdhaaraka namma uDupi shree krishna - Saviour of the world, our Udupi Shri Krishna.

Prayer

"Let the air of life be merged into the atmosphere,
Let the body be burnt into ashes,
Oh lord, remember my deeds,
Remember all my deeds."

Paraphrased from the 'Yajurveda'

This is my only prayer

I want to be the air that surrounds you,
I want to embrace you from all sides,
To give you warmth when you are cold,
And to make you sleep with a dull song, which lingers.

I want to be the air that surrounds you.
I want to enter you when you breathe.
To merge with your blood and cells,
And to fill you with life of the purest form, eternal.

I want to be the air that surrounds you,
I want to reside in your heart and soul.
To give you dreams and to carry your aura,
And to be proud that I am one with my beloved, in all sense.

And when you exhale me,
I don't want to exist,
I just want to merge into the atmosphere,
Just to be with you, in the rebirth.

Oh lord, remember what I have done.
Let the results of my actions determine my fate,
From birth to birth.
Please remember what I have done.

Amen!

You are the blessing

Walking down the lane,
knocking every door,
trying everything for that unknown,
divine feeling.

I depended on people,
on doctrines and on self denial,
hoping to get salvation for the soul,
an occasional bliss.

It was never about finding the answer,
It was only about understanding the question;
and I stood for so long,
confused and failed.

I am the bird,
and you are my song,

I am the matter,
and you are my energy.

I am the prayer,
and you are the blessing.

Beloved, you are the goddess
I am your devotee.

I understand;

So much of everything
cannot compliment you.

For I am the earth
and you are the raindrop.

A walk-back is impossible,
a denial; is unacceptable.

And if separation is inevitable,
DEATH SEEMS MORE PROBABLE.

Life Exists

This world is so full of angels. With straightened hair and polished nails. With fire inside, and an urge to acquire. I was looking for a person who was innocent enough to cry when her beloved is sad. Who was foolish enough to risk her happiness for mine. Who was willing to forget a smoky past for a warm present.

Thanks for reminding me that life exists. Thanks for simply being that girl!

A Place With A Strange Name. Yes Strange.

India is a vast country. I cannot generalize. Probably no one can. But the place where I have lived around 99.99% of my life is an elongated, but small, strip of land called Kerala, lacks in diversity.

It all has been so similar, the roads, the trees and the tall new buildings. It feels like the same place anywhere I go.

It all has been so bloody similar, each mind that I meet.

In the recent past, I had never bothered about people and their feelings. It is not that I did not want to, but I never realized that it is a part of life.

Everyone is so consumed with what they are and what they should be. It has never worried me that the world and its people are not concerned about anyone else, but it is the realization of this fact which started eating me. I am one among them, if this world is too materialistic and self centered, so am I.

At least, so I had been.

There are certain people, whom we would love to hate. There are certain incidents which we would love to forget. Most of the times, we can't do either. It is like sitting in the fireside on a February morning. We hate the thick smoke which merges into the air, and makes breathing so difficult. We hate the smoke, which breaks tears in our eyes. Yet, we love the very same smoke, for the warmth that it provides.

I faced, rather I had been a part of, such an incident in the recent past.

It happened in a place with a strange name, 'Tholppetti'. Strange, because it translates as 'leather box' in English. There people can take a jeep drive into the jungle and if you are lucky, you can spot wild animals. Riding on my luck there, was I, on a misty winter morning.

Underlining one of the strongest beliefs that I had throughout my life, that I have no luck, I spotted nothing. But this time, I was to be proven wrong with my belief.

As I stepped out of the jeep, I spotted a small tea shop nearby, and around ten customers waiting around it. One single person was serving them all. But surprisingly, this person had no dissatisfied customers, due to the wait time.

He was serving breakfast, tea, with or without milk, lemon juice and he was taking care of the accounts too, all alone. At the same time he was speaking to someone in Kannada, and to everyone else in Malayalam. He confessed that he does not know English very well, but knows French and German! And 4 other languages. I did not find any reason to disbelieve him, and I still don't find any.

This man was indeed busy. And he was good at multitasking. But so am I. I am trained to be so. Then what is the big deal?

The surprise came when he started to speak to a lady, who was washing dishes sitting nearby. She looked like a shadow and no one noticed her till that moment. He simply asked one question, 'Ammu, did you have your breakfast?' She said yes. Then came the second question, 'And the kids?'. 'They too' was the answer. He did not look at her while asking this, he did not take leave from what he was doing for even a single second. But the concern that he had, while asking this, was so beautiful and genuine.

This was so alien to me. Taking care of a person? I was not good enough.

Words are so insufficient. Or I am not good enough to write too.

I am not even half busy as he is. I don't have to serve so many customers at the same time. I just have to serve my boss. Still, I never find time to be concerned for anyone close to me.

I repeat, Words are so insufficient. Or I am not good enough to write.

Being taken care of is such a mist of hot white air. You name it as weakness, you name it as momentary lapse of reason or anything else. I love it for its warmth. And it is merging into me.

Foot note:

Thousands of years ago, two great sages of India, Narada and Vyasa, met each other on the banks of the river Sarasvati. After talking to Narada, Vyasa accepted that seeking knowledge alone is not sufficient, but we have to have love, concern and devotion in life.

Narada said this to Vyasa,

'Having known that (true devotion or love), one becomes intoxicated, silent and celebrates with the self.'

Intoxicated? I am now.

A Different Species - Nikon Coolpix L10

Soochippara - Nikon Coolpix L10

A Piece Of Sky - Nikon Coolpix L10

Banasura Sagar Dam - Nikon Coolpix L10

Banasura Sagar Dam - Nikon Coolpix L10

Lord's Feet - Nikon Coolpix L10

Biggest Mud Dam In India - Nikon Coolpix L10

Transluscent - Nikon Coolpix L10

Diamond - Nikon Coolpix L10

Irippu - Nikon Coolpix L10

Irippu - Nikon Coolpix L10

Stripes - Nikon Coolpix L10

Goat - Nikon Coolpix L10

Tholppetti - Nikon Coolpix L10

Tholppetti - Nikon Coolpix L10

Bus To Karnataka - Nikon Coolpix L10

Pookkodu Lake - Nikon Coolpix L10

Pookkodu Lake - Nikon Coolpix L10

Mist - Nikon Coolpix L10

Hairpin - Nikon Coolpix L10

Any Given Evening In India - Nikon Coolpix L10

Wind - Nikon Coolpix L10 And Havell Fan

Early Walk - Nikon Coolpix L10

Speed - Nikon Coolpix L10 And Suzuki

Cross Breed - Nikon Coolpix L10